Why Me G-d?? (on my knees with clenched fists raised to the sky)...
This is a sad day indeed. I think my iPod crapped out on me.
I have had it for two and a half years at this point. I think I got it back in the Spring of 2004 or 2005 I don't remember exactly but I have it in my head that I have had it for a while and these bastards that make consumer products make them with the expectation that they will last only as long as the warrantee and then you will have to buy another one. But I am dismayed none-the-less because I am afraid that iPod servicing will be expensive and that I won't be able to afford it, but hey what are you going to do? I could freak out and buy another iPod (I will fess up, I did already look at the website) but I am convinced that whatever is wrong is a passing thing and that I will let the battery die and it will work itself out.
But I have been thinking about how dependant I have become on this little turd of an apparatus because I am having trouble imaging my walks to and from work without it. It makes it just a little more tolerable really, drowns out the honking cars, drowns out the pan handlers and if you couple it with my "sporty" sunglasses, and a scowl it makes me look like I am not one to be trifled with -- and I am not, I think. And I am really bummed about it.
I have been reading this book called The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova recently, and it is a wonderful book very well written. Very complicatedly written, too. (And as someone who would very much like to progress in a writing career, I feel that rather than just "sitting down and doing it" I should do some homework first: and if Ralph Shock heard me say that he might actually shit himself) But the story is told as a woman retelling a story of her youth, through the letters of her father, so the story is constantly shifting 1st person narrative styles and it is interesting because the author has effectively created two personalities telling a story, one is the primary narrator a 60 something year old professor remembering her formative teenage years. The other, is a 60 something year old man, writing to his daughter going through her formative teenage years as he goes off to hunt and kill Dracula. So I have been reading with the intent to help me find a style that suits my "voice" I suppose. Because if I sat down "did it" right now my writings would sound like a horrific cross between Nick Hornby and Robert Ludlum with some insane Isaac Asimov thrown in. Which would be positively unreadable. But I have this other blog, Marlowe's Sketchpad, which is designed as a space for me to try some things out and see how things shake out. If you have a spare second, something strikes you and you want to comment on it please do I would appreciate the input. But remember, as Liz would say (in her southern belle voice), "If you don't have anything nice to say, keep your fucking mouth shut." Which, I assure you, sounds infinitely more funny coming out of Liz's mouth than it could possibly look on paper... err screen.
I also had a funny moment at the movie theater on Friday. I went to see The Illusionist and while I was standing in the line for the overpriced sugar water and stale-as-all-get-out popcorn, I noticed a sign for this movie called The Covenant and I thought, "Wow, that looks awesome!" (With an exclamation point, yes.)
And at this point I am going to pause for a sort of station identification. I am reading a book about Dracula, or the hunting of Dracula at any rate. I am also grossly intrigued with a movie about some kind of supernatural mumbo-jumbo. I am outing myself as a closet goth. Not a Goth, I don't wear make up, I happen to love colors, I could take or leave the Smith's and I still refuse to admit that Siouxsie and the Banshees are a Goth band. But I do love the occult, I do love the romanticism behind the vampire mythos and I have said that I wish I could be a vampire so that I could be rich. (Which for the record I would kill only bad people and take their money and save it because I wouldn't have to give Whole Foods all my money every week). But the point is that I do like Vampire-y, magic-y and romantically torn monster-y movies (not the transmuted, evil kind, but the hopeless you feel sorry for them as they are being shot/staked kind).
So anyway, I sort of lost interest in this movie when I read the poster for it. Here is the tagline, as it was printed on the poster:
And here is the bad news. If you thought I was a geek for being into vampires, just wait. Wait for it... okay here it comes. I have at best a passing interest in the movie because the sign has a grammatical error on it. If you can see the error, you are a friend and a brother or sister in arms. If you can't, never fear, I am going to tell you what it is and you can tell me you knew the entire time and nobody will be any wiser. (For the record I am not an editor nor do I claim to be a perfect writer, I know that my postings are probably rife with grammatical errors that make people cringe. But, I am just one man on blogspot with a spelling grammar checker. Sony Pictures on the other hand, is a gigantic corporation and some lazy shit should have caught this error.
The error is that the parenthetical phrase in the line beginning one family is wrong and as such the entire sentence doesn't make sense. The key with a parenthetical phrase is that it is a piece of information that is inserted into a sentence that isn't relevant, but maybe helpful or comedic, and can be removed. (Did you like how I snuck a parenthetical phrase into my definition, and yes I feel very clever.) So the parenthetical phrase, which is identified by the commas book-ending it (there I go again), is "was banished". So let's take it out and you have, "One family lusting for more their bloodline disappearing without a trace." As John Stewart would say, "A WHAAA." It makes absolutely no fucking sense. What they should have done - and for the record it is corrected on their website - is made the phrase "lusting for more" the parenthetical phrase and then put everything in the line about the bloodline after a dash. A dash is designed to give you the A-HA moment or if you are ghetto fabulous you might prefer SNAP or OHHHH SHITTT. So on the website it reads:
Now that is a great freaking sentence. Look at it. It has everything. If that were the tagline I would have gone to see that on opening night. But alas because some hung-over intern didn't bother to proofread the poster art it has been relegated to my viewing it at the Patriot for a dollar. And yes I will suffer through the smell of urine. TAKE THAT SONY PICTURES!
For the record I am ashamed that I have been obsessing about that poster since last month.
I want my iPod back.
I have had it for two and a half years at this point. I think I got it back in the Spring of 2004 or 2005 I don't remember exactly but I have it in my head that I have had it for a while and these bastards that make consumer products make them with the expectation that they will last only as long as the warrantee and then you will have to buy another one. But I am dismayed none-the-less because I am afraid that iPod servicing will be expensive and that I won't be able to afford it, but hey what are you going to do? I could freak out and buy another iPod (I will fess up, I did already look at the website) but I am convinced that whatever is wrong is a passing thing and that I will let the battery die and it will work itself out.
But I have been thinking about how dependant I have become on this little turd of an apparatus because I am having trouble imaging my walks to and from work without it. It makes it just a little more tolerable really, drowns out the honking cars, drowns out the pan handlers and if you couple it with my "sporty" sunglasses, and a scowl it makes me look like I am not one to be trifled with -- and I am not, I think. And I am really bummed about it.
I have been reading this book called The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova recently, and it is a wonderful book very well written. Very complicatedly written, too. (And as someone who would very much like to progress in a writing career, I feel that rather than just "sitting down and doing it" I should do some homework first: and if Ralph Shock heard me say that he might actually shit himself) But the story is told as a woman retelling a story of her youth, through the letters of her father, so the story is constantly shifting 1st person narrative styles and it is interesting because the author has effectively created two personalities telling a story, one is the primary narrator a 60 something year old professor remembering her formative teenage years. The other, is a 60 something year old man, writing to his daughter going through her formative teenage years as he goes off to hunt and kill Dracula. So I have been reading with the intent to help me find a style that suits my "voice" I suppose. Because if I sat down "did it" right now my writings would sound like a horrific cross between Nick Hornby and Robert Ludlum with some insane Isaac Asimov thrown in. Which would be positively unreadable. But I have this other blog, Marlowe's Sketchpad, which is designed as a space for me to try some things out and see how things shake out. If you have a spare second, something strikes you and you want to comment on it please do I would appreciate the input. But remember, as Liz would say (in her southern belle voice), "If you don't have anything nice to say, keep your fucking mouth shut." Which, I assure you, sounds infinitely more funny coming out of Liz's mouth than it could possibly look on paper... err screen.
I also had a funny moment at the movie theater on Friday. I went to see The Illusionist and while I was standing in the line for the overpriced sugar water and stale-as-all-get-out popcorn, I noticed a sign for this movie called The Covenant and I thought, "Wow, that looks awesome!" (With an exclamation point, yes.)
And at this point I am going to pause for a sort of station identification. I am reading a book about Dracula, or the hunting of Dracula at any rate. I am also grossly intrigued with a movie about some kind of supernatural mumbo-jumbo. I am outing myself as a closet goth. Not a Goth, I don't wear make up, I happen to love colors, I could take or leave the Smith's and I still refuse to admit that Siouxsie and the Banshees are a Goth band. But I do love the occult, I do love the romanticism behind the vampire mythos and I have said that I wish I could be a vampire so that I could be rich. (Which for the record I would kill only bad people and take their money and save it because I wouldn't have to give Whole Foods all my money every week). But the point is that I do like Vampire-y, magic-y and romantically torn monster-y movies (not the transmuted, evil kind, but the hopeless you feel sorry for them as they are being shot/staked kind).
So anyway, I sort of lost interest in this movie when I read the poster for it. Here is the tagline, as it was printed on the poster:
In 1692, five families with untold power
formed a covenant of silence.
One family lusting for more, was banished,
their bloodline disappearing without a trace.
Until now.
And here is the bad news. If you thought I was a geek for being into vampires, just wait. Wait for it... okay here it comes. I have at best a passing interest in the movie because the sign has a grammatical error on it. If you can see the error, you are a friend and a brother or sister in arms. If you can't, never fear, I am going to tell you what it is and you can tell me you knew the entire time and nobody will be any wiser. (For the record I am not an editor nor do I claim to be a perfect writer, I know that my postings are probably rife with grammatical errors that make people cringe. But, I am just one man on blogspot with a spelling grammar checker. Sony Pictures on the other hand, is a gigantic corporation and some lazy shit should have caught this error.
The error is that the parenthetical phrase in the line beginning one family is wrong and as such the entire sentence doesn't make sense. The key with a parenthetical phrase is that it is a piece of information that is inserted into a sentence that isn't relevant, but maybe helpful or comedic, and can be removed. (Did you like how I snuck a parenthetical phrase into my definition, and yes I feel very clever.) So the parenthetical phrase, which is identified by the commas book-ending it (there I go again), is "was banished". So let's take it out and you have, "One family lusting for more their bloodline disappearing without a trace." As John Stewart would say, "A WHAAA." It makes absolutely no fucking sense. What they should have done - and for the record it is corrected on their website - is made the phrase "lusting for more" the parenthetical phrase and then put everything in the line about the bloodline after a dash. A dash is designed to give you the A-HA moment or if you are ghetto fabulous you might prefer SNAP or OHHHH SHITTT. So on the website it reads:
In 1692, five families with untold power
formed a covenant of silence.
One family, lusting for more, was banished -
their bloodline disappearing without a trace.
Until now.
Now that is a great freaking sentence. Look at it. It has everything. If that were the tagline I would have gone to see that on opening night. But alas because some hung-over intern didn't bother to proofread the poster art it has been relegated to my viewing it at the Patriot for a dollar. And yes I will suffer through the smell of urine. TAKE THAT SONY PICTURES!
For the record I am ashamed that I have been obsessing about that poster since last month.
I want my iPod back.
posted by V. at 11:19 PM
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