They're back....
I live near a pretentious, Ivy League college. It is a good one, the people whom I have met from the college that work there are all really great people. The curriculum seems challenging and I don't doubt that it is a great experience.
But I am going to show my age for a quick second.
The freshman this year. They look like babies. I just want to scoop them up and hug them and tell them, none of this matters, that the girl/boy you are sad about leaving home, she/he is already sleeping around; the best friend you left, is probably glad you are gone; and the girl/boy that you think you are in love with, that you are going to leave your girl/boyfriend back home for; when they break your heart around Thanksgiving don't say I didn't warn you.
I mean, I guess I just remember my freshman year too much, I thought I was Kublai Kahn, but in reality hindsight being what it is, I didn't know shit. I mean really. I DIDN'T KNOW SHIT. I was just looking at all of these children that were walking around and I was thinking, "Shit, how old could they really be?" So being the person that took Algebra twice I decided to try out a little test.
(This will be the first time I have used this in 12 or so years.)
The year is 2006. Most college freshman will be 18. So I am trying to find out what year they were born and how old I was at that time.
2006-18=X
x-1976=Y
So Y=(2006-18)-1976
Y=12
No so bad I guess. But I think this is sick, I was trying to get girls to kiss me when these kids were born. (I was always brutally unsuccessful at it.)
Anyway the freshman were born in 1988 so I am going to be right back and come up with a list of movies that came out in 1988. Be right back.
Jeebus Christ, 1988 was the year that Pan Am 103 exploded over Lockerbie, Scotland. Two things are significant about this. One, the case was settled in the last 3 or so years and Libya made a pretty small settlement. Two, Pan Am doesn't exist as an airline anymore. Yikes.
Okay, here is a link to the list of the 1988 Oscars. It makes me sad that A Fish Called Wanda, one of my favorite movies of all time, came for that Oscars.
Now technically movies that were at the 1988 Oscars came out in 1987 but really what is a year and honestly who cares, you get the point. The point being that this sucks. I FEEL old. Yuck. Ewww.
The funniest part to me about the college kids being back is all the popped collars. There are a lot of them going around here. A LOT OF THEM! Which is really ironic to me, because the last time that fucking look was popular was the year they were all born ¬ woe is I.
Anyway, if you have a chance, find a college freshman and give them a big hug. Let them know that none of this (and when you say "this" make sure to gesticulate it indicating all of it, the whole world, the fact that they are freshman taking a 200 level class) matters. And that in ten years you will be lucky to remember the names of five people you hooked up with and you might remember 5 people you took classes with that weren't in your circle of friends. Hug them, because they are earnest and they really think they are on skipping the road to a brighter new beginning. Whatever you do don't tell them that that the light at the end of the tunnel is really....
But I am going to show my age for a quick second.
The freshman this year. They look like babies. I just want to scoop them up and hug them and tell them, none of this matters, that the girl/boy you are sad about leaving home, she/he is already sleeping around; the best friend you left, is probably glad you are gone; and the girl/boy that you think you are in love with, that you are going to leave your girl/boyfriend back home for; when they break your heart around Thanksgiving don't say I didn't warn you.
I mean, I guess I just remember my freshman year too much, I thought I was Kublai Kahn, but in reality hindsight being what it is, I didn't know shit. I mean really. I DIDN'T KNOW SHIT. I was just looking at all of these children that were walking around and I was thinking, "Shit, how old could they really be?" So being the person that took Algebra twice I decided to try out a little test.
(This will be the first time I have used this in 12 or so years.)
The year is 2006. Most college freshman will be 18. So I am trying to find out what year they were born and how old I was at that time.
2006-18=X
x-1976=Y
So Y=(2006-18)-1976
Y=12
No so bad I guess. But I think this is sick, I was trying to get girls to kiss me when these kids were born. (I was always brutally unsuccessful at it.)
Anyway the freshman were born in 1988 so I am going to be right back and come up with a list of movies that came out in 1988. Be right back.
Jeebus Christ, 1988 was the year that Pan Am 103 exploded over Lockerbie, Scotland. Two things are significant about this. One, the case was settled in the last 3 or so years and Libya made a pretty small settlement. Two, Pan Am doesn't exist as an airline anymore. Yikes.
Okay, here is a link to the list of the 1988 Oscars. It makes me sad that A Fish Called Wanda, one of my favorite movies of all time, came for that Oscars.
Now technically movies that were at the 1988 Oscars came out in 1987 but really what is a year and honestly who cares, you get the point. The point being that this sucks. I FEEL old. Yuck. Ewww.
The funniest part to me about the college kids being back is all the popped collars. There are a lot of them going around here. A LOT OF THEM! Which is really ironic to me, because the last time that fucking look was popular was the year they were all born ¬ woe is I.
Anyway, if you have a chance, find a college freshman and give them a big hug. Let them know that none of this (and when you say "this" make sure to gesticulate it indicating all of it, the whole world, the fact that they are freshman taking a 200 level class) matters. And that in ten years you will be lucky to remember the names of five people you hooked up with and you might remember 5 people you took classes with that weren't in your circle of friends. Hug them, because they are earnest and they really think they are on skipping the road to a brighter new beginning. Whatever you do don't tell them that that the light at the end of the tunnel is really....
posted by V. at 11:33 PM
3 Comments:
I wonder how many of the incoming freshman would have been able to follow your algebra problem.
Wow, 1988 was the year "Rainman" came out. These kids have never lived in a world without the phrase "I'm an excellent driver" being delivered in a vaguely retarded voice!!! Whoa!!!! Now THAT is scary. They've barely lived in a world where Tom Cruise wasn't a creepy crazy religious nut. In a couple years (8) incoming freshmen will never have lived in a world where we hadn't seen Tom Cruise desperately shouting "Show Me The Money!" into a telephone!
But what about the ole silly string out the nose, or doing "Heart and Soul" on an FAO Schwartz floor keyboard? I mean to them, Silly String gets taken for granted. But to me, I am still amazed by it. Probably in the same way that some people are amazed by spray cheese.
This is one that I heard the other day that made me spasm...
This year's freshmen only remember being alive (though were alive for 3) for 2 presidents. Clinton and Bush II. Huh. Dude, I totally remember a tiny bit of Carter, Reagan, Bush, Clinton and Bush. Oh, and Millard Filmore.
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