Oh sweet Jeebus, 182 minutes that I will never get back...
I don't own a television, and now I finally understand why. I will quite literally sit down and watch any piece of shit movie that comes on. Really I will, I love that shit that Sci-Fi Channel serves up on their movie weekends, the series of movies, if it hadn't been for my wife, I would have watched, They Crawl, Killer Swarm, Raptor Island, and Sabretooth without movie a muscle. There is a gene that most people have, it makes them turn off shitty television, my wife has it (but she does love 90210, which I will forgive her for) my best friends all have it. I. I am missing it. I don't know if it is a double recessive that I have, or that maybe that whole mess of genome is all screwed up but I will sit down and watch a movie staring Sam Neill that was a sequal to a movie that should never have been made anyway.
The movie was called Merlin's Apprentice. It was horrible and it featured on Hallmark Channel. In the detective business they would have called it a clue. But I didn't get it, I missed it. The worst part is that this clue isn't something that the folks on CSI would have to uncover, this would be the equivalent of me sitting at the scene of a horrible crime questioning a person holding the murder weapon, with blood caked on his/her hands, screaming, "I DID IT, I KILLED THE [SON OF A] BITCH," with Star Jones sitting in back of me saying, "Uh yeah, I saw the whole thing and he/she isn't lying, they killed that person." But somehow I would think that there was a deeper story there.
I guess the lesson is that sometimes as compelling a story as I think there might be, if it is on Hallmark, I can probably let it go on and play without me. But then again, you are reading the blog of a guy who saw Bloodrayne in the the theater, by himself, on a weekend. (I am ashamed that I outed myself.)
So the real lesson is that when I have a TV I am more inclined to sit on my ass and not do what is required of me but instead sit (and for the record I accidently wrote shit instead of sit) and watch shit-bag movies all day long.
God what a useless day.
The movie was called Merlin's Apprentice. It was horrible and it featured on Hallmark Channel. In the detective business they would have called it a clue. But I didn't get it, I missed it. The worst part is that this clue isn't something that the folks on CSI would have to uncover, this would be the equivalent of me sitting at the scene of a horrible crime questioning a person holding the murder weapon, with blood caked on his/her hands, screaming, "I DID IT, I KILLED THE [SON OF A] BITCH," with Star Jones sitting in back of me saying, "Uh yeah, I saw the whole thing and he/she isn't lying, they killed that person." But somehow I would think that there was a deeper story there.
I guess the lesson is that sometimes as compelling a story as I think there might be, if it is on Hallmark, I can probably let it go on and play without me. But then again, you are reading the blog of a guy who saw Bloodrayne in the the theater, by himself, on a weekend. (I am ashamed that I outed myself.)
So the real lesson is that when I have a TV I am more inclined to sit on my ass and not do what is required of me but instead sit (and for the record I accidently wrote shit instead of sit) and watch shit-bag movies all day long.
God what a useless day.
posted by V. at 11:40 PM
1 Comments:
They made a Merlin sequel? Holy sweet mother of crap. I think you should spend a weekend with my folks and watch all the crap Sci-Fi channel movies (all the ones that are made in Australia or Canada). Inevitably I wil call them and ask what they are doing, and without fail they will be watching some movie on Sci-Fi that involves genetic mixing gone horribly awry. Like Man-Shark, or fucking Man-Guppie, or Kanga-oodle (the horrific mishaps involved with the cross-breeding of a kangaroo and a poodle). I sure do like some crappy movies (hell, I saw The Wizard in the theater as a youngin) but I think Merlin 2: Electric Crapaloo would've been too much even for me.
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