There are two kinds of people...

There are two kinds of people in the world... How many times have you heard that phrase? I have heard it a lot lately. I have a friend who has a theory that you are either a "Savage" Steve Holland person or a John Hughes person.

Another has said:

"...there are two types of people in the world: Those who are delighted and amused when a complete stranger hands them a butt plug, and those who just stare back in slack-jawed horror."

So I am going to compile a list of the two types of people in the world that I have come across (if you don't fit into one of these categories, that means you are an alien or a replicant or a replicant of an alien).

There are two types of people in the world...
Music
1.) ... People that like the Beach Boys and people that like Elvis.
2.) ... People that like XTC and people that like Adam Ant.
3.) ... People that like Velvet Underground and people that like The Clash
4.) ... People that like EMO and people that like Hardcore
5.) ... People that like hardcore and people that like music
6.) ... People that like Genesis (before Peter Gabriel left, Prog Rock if you will) and people that like Genesis (after Peter Gabriel left, pure pop rock)
7.) ... People that like Reggae and people that don't like to smoke pot.
8.) ... People that like [insert currently trendy jam band] and people that have jobs and are productive members of society and have already graduated from college.

Okay it is starting to get ugly let's change the subject:

Movies
1.) ... People that like John Hughes and people that like Savage Steve Holland
2.) ... People that like Tom Hanks when he was funny and people that like Forrest Gump
3.) ... People that think that Jude Law is a great actor and we all got the joke and people that think Sean Penn is an asshole for other reasons entirely.
4.) ... People that like Broken Lizard and people that like National Lampoon's.
5.) ... People that like Snakes on a Plane and people that have no sense of humor or pulse.
6.) ... People that like movies and people that like films.
7.) ... People that like James Spader and people that really like that guy that was in "The Secretary" (you know when he rubbed one out on that girls back!).

ewww.....

Sex
1.) ... people that have tried a "Donkey punch" and people that don't have to make up insane stories so people will like them.
2.) ... people that masturbate and people that are corpses.
3.) ... people that like doggy style sex and virgins.
4.) ... people that watch porno and people that live porno.
5.) ... people that like to get tied up and chicken shits.
6.) ... people that like have food sex and people that don't like the cleanup.

Speaking of food...

1.) ... people that like Murimoto and people that like Sakai
2.) ... people that like Crunchy and people that like Creamy
3.) ... people that like strawberries and people that like blueberries
4.) ... people that like waffles and people that like pancakes
5.) ... people that like Lima Beans and people that have taste buds.
6.) ... people that like Ruth's Cris Steakhouse and people that like Morton's
7.) ... people that like Popeye's and people that like KFC
8.) (and this is a relatively new one that is only applicable to eating at a mall) ... people that like Bourbon Chicken for the "Tasty Wok" and people that like Bourbon Chicken from the "Ragin Cajin" (PEOPLE IT IS THE SAME FREAKING BOURBON CHICKEN)
9.) ... people that like Cheerios and people that like Frosted Flakes

Here are some miscellaneous ones:

1.) ... people that use Duracell and people that use Energizer (personally I am a Duracell man, I always had a thing for red heads though)
2.) ... people that go to a gym and people that are married
3.) ... people that went to high school and loved every minute of it and people that went on to become success in life. (Ouch, did I use my outside voice for that one?)
4.) ... people that read Fantasy novels and people that go on dates with people of the same or opposite sex.
5.) ... people that played D&D at some point in their life and people that didn't spend a lot of time in lockers or getting beat up. (total side note on this one. There is a book out about the history and mythology of Dungeons and Dragons and do you know who wrote the intro to the book? I shit you not -- VIN DIESEL! I just gained about nine hundred respect points for him. I will give him a +2 modifier for Charisma. That should increase the likeability of his next shitty movie.)

So here is a little homework assignment for the readers out there. Collect as many bits about the "Two types of people" and I will start to post them at the top of my blog every day.

Which brings me to my last one:

There are two types of people in the world. People that do their home work and hand it in on time, and people that lie about having a grandmother that is deceased and try to get out of handing in the damn thing on time. Which one are you (personally I ran out of grandmothers.)