Well the gig is up...
I am no iron man, my run of continuous posts ended at 19 I think. What a shame. I had such lofty goals and it was all for pot. I couldn't even put together 30 days of continuous posting, oh well, life goes on.
So anyway, for my job I have these presentations that I have been doing. There were 5 of them in all and I generally had to stand up and give a non-rehearsed little speech (that was different every night) and all-in-all it went very well. I never had someone come up to me and say, "HEY DUDE, YOU SUCK" most of what I got was, "Your very funny, I can't wait to work with you."
But here is the funny thing. I have really bad stage fright. I don't enjoy talking in front of large groups of people where I am "presenting" or "performing." Put me a room with people and wind me up and let me go and I am brilliant, I will converse and walk and be jovial and bring people together and find out what interests people (usually themselves) and talk about that subject until they are blue in the face or they expose themselves for being whack jobbers, which happens quite often. But you get me up on a stage and ask me to recite the A, B, C's and I can almost promise you I will have pissed myself by the time I get to the letter K. I don't know why it is, but it is and I have sort of lived in my perpetual fear of being on stage. I was in a play in college, but my lines were pretty much limited to:
"Oh momma, don't go."
"Hey you kids get out of that tree"
There was also a really filthy line that I had to say about one of the main characters who I think was named Karl Heinz and his love for this woman, who is Jewish, I played a Nazi soldier and it was a filthy line, I can't say I forget it on purpose, but it is forgotten and I am better for it.
But that is pretty much my acting career in a nutshell, one play, three characters and a total of six lines. I was MESMERIZING. And absolutely scared shitless. I mean, what realistically would have happened if I had blown a line or botched a bit of my presentation? In the grand scheme of things, not a hell of a lot. So why do I start to shake uncontrollably when I have to recite Shakespearean Sonnets? Who knows. But if it keeps me away from the stage and ruins my acting career (sarcasm alert folks) I will live with it.
So anyway, I keep losing focus here, stage fright, presentations... Oh yes. So these presentations went off pretty well, I am pretty sure that some people didn't like them, but I am also fairly certain that some people don't like wild flowers, kittens and puppies, ice cream and quiet children -- we call them jerks. For the most part, however, they went well and I received accolades from my co-workers for my wry wit and my ability to make people laugh and it is kind of putting a damper on my pity party. Which is a drag. But in a good way. WHAT?!?!
So anyway the stage fright thing struck again when my kickball team (Did he just say kickball? Yes, yes he did, here in Providence there is an organized kickball league. It is more about the pageantry than it is about the sport of it. But it kills a Saturday afternoon so what can I say.) was sitting on a tied score at the bottom of the last inning and we were in the field, and I think I was actually praying, "Please don't kick the ball to me." But they did and I caught it. I would love to say that was the third out and we won the game but it wasn't and we didn't. We ended up losing 3-2. But you know what? It's kickball and I will sleep the sleep of babies and small children even with this loss. The funny thing for me was the feeling that I was somehow going to screw the whole thing up. Anyway enough about that.
This post brought to you by the letter k.
So anyway, for my job I have these presentations that I have been doing. There were 5 of them in all and I generally had to stand up and give a non-rehearsed little speech (that was different every night) and all-in-all it went very well. I never had someone come up to me and say, "HEY DUDE, YOU SUCK" most of what I got was, "Your very funny, I can't wait to work with you."
But here is the funny thing. I have really bad stage fright. I don't enjoy talking in front of large groups of people where I am "presenting" or "performing." Put me a room with people and wind me up and let me go and I am brilliant, I will converse and walk and be jovial and bring people together and find out what interests people (usually themselves) and talk about that subject until they are blue in the face or they expose themselves for being whack jobbers, which happens quite often. But you get me up on a stage and ask me to recite the A, B, C's and I can almost promise you I will have pissed myself by the time I get to the letter K. I don't know why it is, but it is and I have sort of lived in my perpetual fear of being on stage. I was in a play in college, but my lines were pretty much limited to:
"Oh momma, don't go."
"Hey you kids get out of that tree"
There was also a really filthy line that I had to say about one of the main characters who I think was named Karl Heinz and his love for this woman, who is Jewish, I played a Nazi soldier and it was a filthy line, I can't say I forget it on purpose, but it is forgotten and I am better for it.
But that is pretty much my acting career in a nutshell, one play, three characters and a total of six lines. I was MESMERIZING. And absolutely scared shitless. I mean, what realistically would have happened if I had blown a line or botched a bit of my presentation? In the grand scheme of things, not a hell of a lot. So why do I start to shake uncontrollably when I have to recite Shakespearean Sonnets? Who knows. But if it keeps me away from the stage and ruins my acting career (sarcasm alert folks) I will live with it.
So anyway, I keep losing focus here, stage fright, presentations... Oh yes. So these presentations went off pretty well, I am pretty sure that some people didn't like them, but I am also fairly certain that some people don't like wild flowers, kittens and puppies, ice cream and quiet children -- we call them jerks. For the most part, however, they went well and I received accolades from my co-workers for my wry wit and my ability to make people laugh and it is kind of putting a damper on my pity party. Which is a drag. But in a good way. WHAT?!?!
So anyway the stage fright thing struck again when my kickball team (Did he just say kickball? Yes, yes he did, here in Providence there is an organized kickball league. It is more about the pageantry than it is about the sport of it. But it kills a Saturday afternoon so what can I say.) was sitting on a tied score at the bottom of the last inning and we were in the field, and I think I was actually praying, "Please don't kick the ball to me." But they did and I caught it. I would love to say that was the third out and we won the game but it wasn't and we didn't. We ended up losing 3-2. But you know what? It's kickball and I will sleep the sleep of babies and small children even with this loss. The funny thing for me was the feeling that I was somehow going to screw the whole thing up. Anyway enough about that.
This post brought to you by the letter k.
posted by V. at 5:33 PM
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